Communication Motivation

The impostor syndrome

Have you ever been scared of being exposed as a “fraud”?

I mean the moment you doubted your own achievements, when you thought that you do not belong somewhere. The feeling that everyone else is probably wiser and more intelligent than you can be intimidating. Let’s have a short talk about boosting our confidence.

The offender found – comparing yourself to others (oh, how surprising)

I wrote a lot about how harmful comparing yourself to others is – long story short – in the end, you will either be shooty or feel miserable.

You may have the imposter syndrome when you feel like you are surrounded by people who look like they know a whole lot more than you do. Then you start to underestimate your value because you realize you do not know anything those smart guys do or because you feel so overwhelmed by their achievements. Most of us often forget about all those wonderful qualities we have because we focus on what we are lacking. I guess I mostly blame the culture for that and the trend that every day has to better than the previous one (of course it does not lol). But in reality, we are guilty as well because that’s often our choice what we focus on and believe in.

Sometimes just good communication is key.

Imposter syndrome often occurs when we don’t talk about our feelings with other people. Fortunately, people who consider themselves superior are the minority in the world and most of us react to many situations in a similar way because we’re all just humans. That’s why we can start a conversation with somebody and often learn that they feel the same way. Just talk.

I found a picture that illustrates this pretty well.

(Okay, maybe let’s be a little more modest and ignore the fact that the orange circle on the right is significantly bigger than the grey ones ;3)

The familiarity principle

There is this psychological phenomenon called the mere-exposure effect that I learnt about this year. It’s basically about the situation when people choose something merely because they are familiar with it. That’s why for example advertisements are so effective. I guess most of us prefer to be around people & situations we know rather than to go out of our comfort zone.

Coming back to the topic, I think that sometimes we are just scared of the unknown – we may think too much and build all those potential scenarios in our head – because we do not know the truth. We just suspect that others may be better than us, but we don’t really know that for sure (well, first maybe just establish what “better” means for you). For some of us, the quarantine period has been a very tough time and that’s why I want to emphasize how important communication is, so that we will talk and get to know one another more.

Everybody is good at something.

You are in the place you are for a reason. If you achieved something, that’s your success which should be celebrated or at least appreciated, even if it’s something minor.

And remember, if you feel bad in a certain situation, first think about what may cause this anxiety. If it’s just irrational fear of being “exposed as a fraud” or if the situation is objectively harmful. In each situation, you can at least try to quit at any moment, but I wouldn’t give up that quickly if it was the first case. It’s time to be confident.

I hope you enjoyed this post!

I’m really sorry for such a long break, but I’m coming back with new posts that (hopefully) will be published regularly. Thank you all for visiting my blog over the past months despite lack of new ideas and I wish you a wonderful day!

Kisses!

6 thoughts on “The impostor syndrome”

    1. I’ve read there were some studies which showed that it concerns the majority of the population and I found it interesting as well 😉

  1. Thought provoking post! I’ve heard of racial imposter syndrome and it’s pretty similar but just to race!

  2. Ironically I had such an unrealistic life experiences growing up I was pretty much had people ( including teachers ) tell me directly to my face that they thought I was making it up or that they did not believe me, from a very early age. To the point I just quit sharing the amazing journey I had during my youth. First of all kids can be ruthless, while I knew it was my truth, now I have a sense of why should I ever have to prove anything to anyone, and who cares if people even believe it or not…. LOL! It really made me more confidant.

    1. Yes, children c a n be ruthless, I know something about that… But when adults contribute to that as well that’s a way worse, I guess… I’m happy now you’re so fabulous! Thanks for sharing 😉

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